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  • Regina Collins

The Real Fight - Non Verbal Communication - Part 9


The words we speak in our non verbal communication at times speaks louder than our actual words!

It can at times reveal our true self and it is our visual representation of our words!


Non verbal communication is the transmission of messages and/or signals, such as eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, and posture....AKA BODY LANGUAGE! We live in a world of social cues. We understand each other through hand and eye expressions. We all express ourselves by gestures. Gestures such as hugs, handshakes, touch, tears, pouts and the list goes on.

Some things speak louder than words. However when we match non verbal subtilties, we can communicate, we add a visual effect to our words. Such non verbal elements are voice quality, loud, soft, pitch, intensity, whispers, etc.. We can get on a roll with the more words we use. You find a rhyme, a song, a beat and we tap into the vibrations of life or death of the words and let it go!

I have seen it at churches many times. Especially when a preacher is just sharing and all of the sudden he taps into the heartbeat of Jesus, and the flow of the spirit kicks in. We see this preachers posture change and sometimes you can feel the shift in the room.

Our non verbal expressions show us the participants a degree of attention and sensitivities to the openness of God's word when it is spoken.


Some call it synergy! The cooperation in the room produces a greater effect. Simply said they are working together - the words and non verbal words create a dance.

We see this all the time in the media, even in the face of falsehoods and word salads, and non truths. If a synergy arises it will give credence to what is being agreed on. Whether is is a total falsehood or a bold faced lie!



Gestures play a huge role in non verbal communication. It could be a signal, a sign, an indication, or a way we emphasize the words we are saying. They speak loudly! Gestures can be made with our hands, arms, eyes, face and so on.

We become our thoughts. We live out loud with our words. From a smile, rolling of our eyes, tightening of the jaw or even a twinkle in the eye. All our words are there to read and hear!

So with all of this in mind, non verbal communication can give us a good read on people. You can tell there is a un-comfortability when you see something like fidgeting, tapping, or rubbing hands together. In the absence of words our bodies will still speak - we are our words!

When they heard these things, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath. And they rose up and drove him out of the town and brought him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they could throw him down the cliff. But passing through their midst, he went away. Luke 4:28-30

Here in Luke Jesus was confronted by those filled with wrath and they sought to throw him out. In verse 30 it tells us He just quietly passed through the angry mob and went His way. He made a non verbal exit!

Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor. Matthew 27:13-14

Jesus was asked a question in Matthew 27:13 but He remained silent. A non verbal cue is something solid or done to signal intention. He gave a non verbal answer!


Silence is wisdoms best reply! It is the sanctuary of prudence. Serving as a type of non verbal communication when we do not use words or utterance to convey meanings.

While in come cultures silence can signify respect, others may perceive it as lack of interest or unwillingness to communicate. Many times silence communicates better when you have had enough of what is going on. When practicality fails to serve its purpose and words lost there way.

Silence brings about a sensory comfort, especially after you have over explained and said too much. Silence can rescue you! It can speak volumes, it can speak to deaf ears and through hurt. It is the vibration of our soul, the song of joy and the sanity in your insanity. Silence is when you finally see!

Silence - Let Go and Let God

Silence can be either negative or positive in our communication. A healthy silence can show a level of vulnerability and comfort within our relationships verses "getting the silent treatment", which is the rooted in negativity!

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19

Understanding this silence does not always mean you have nothing to say. Sometimes words get in the way and are not always necessary. When putting this all this together: Words are powerful, spoken silent, non verbal. Our language or communication is where our hearts, mind, soul and spirit are physically expressed. It is what creates life!


It is no wonder that the real fight is for our words or that the world we live in there is a non stop campaign for the power of words! Our words are our relationship between meaning and truth.

Jesus is the way, the truth and life!

To finish up with one last thought...the social functions of language includes co-constructing social reality between and among people performing and coordinating social action, like conversations, arguing, and telling people what they should or shouldn't do. Language is also a public marker for identity! It is so strong that people are willing to go to war for its defense!

Our words either have power over or add power to! They carry with them the power to bring life and truth or sow seeds of negativity and death. Be a good steward of your words.

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37

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